Announcing the “HOPE” Tour! (I Need Your Help! May 8 – June 7)

Yesterday I announced the date of the album’s release. I did so, knowing full well that I don’t have the money yet to actually finish the record. I’m believing, stepping out in faith, hoping, that I will find a way to raise the rest of the money for the album. But because I’ve been told to dream big, I’m doing just that.

Many people didn’t get a chance to donate to help make the album, so I’m giving you another chance by trying to fund a U.S. Tour via Kickstarter. The goal is to raise $5,000 in the next month, (Starting next week.) and start booking shows in most major cities for August/September/October.  My hopes is that I will be able to raise enough money to finish the album, cover expenses for those months and pay to get from San Diego to Augusta (Maine) to Jacksonville (Florida) to Seattle (Washington) and back home!

I guess I could call it “The Broke Ass Tour: Part 2″, but I think calling it “The Hope Tour” will make my mother happier.

So here’s what I’m asking for:

1. Help with getting the word out. “Sharing” does SOOO MUCH MORE for an artist than “Liking”. I can’t do anything if my numbers stay stagnant, so tell a friend. Invite them to a show. Share my music! Tell them my depressing yet funny stories.

2. Help me locate investors. These are people who want to support artists like myself and have the funds to do so. I have a business plan I can e-mail them and everything! The truth is, a healthy investor could make or break a musician’s career!

3. Give me ideas! Help me figure out how to reach more people! I’m only one guy… I may be creative, but my brain needs to sleep too! Is there something funny I could video tape that would go viral? A song that needs to be written? The worst thing I could say is, “uh…. you’re cray…” So start brainstorming.

4. Give me a hug. Cause I’m scared out of my mind…

Great things don’t happen if you don’t work for them, and I’m hoping that I can work hard enough to see all of your beautiful faces on the road.

Thank you so much ahead of time for your help. I’m starting all of the kickstarter stuff on TUESDAY, May 8th.

I love you, and thanks for believing in me when I have a hard time believing in myself. You are the reason I have hope.

Josh Damigo

NEW ALBUM “HOPE” AVAILABLE AUGUST 14TH!!!

Can’t wait to share this with you guys!

Perspective

I’ve been getting a ton of feedback lately on my blogs. The e-mails usually say, “I wanted to write you to let you know that you are being too negative…” or “I felt bad for you, so I wrote this for you…” My bad… I guess what happens when I get all worked up is that I need to let it out… Maybe that’s why I feel the need to write it down… Maybe I should get a journal??? Putting it out on the internet makes me seem like a “whoa is me- bummer of a guy”. But I don’t think that’s the whole me… It’s just a part of me. I’m also ridiculously funny… (I think…) So if I’m bumming you out… please forgive me. The truth is that I like to get it out, because it helps me to reflect later. And maybe there’s someone going through similar problems. Sometimes, I just need to hear that I’m not the only one going through issues. I guess that’s why I read biographies and prefer them to whatever fiction novel of children killing each other is out…

I was watching Big Fish this morning and it reminded me that what I see is not necessarily what is there. It reminded me of my Great Grandfather, Louis Haley. He was an amazing man. So amazing in fact, that the stories I know about him are absolutely amazing. For example, he took care of my Great Grandmother so much that she never learned how to drive. I know that many girls wouldn’t like being driven around everywhere, but anything that my Great Grandmother needed, he took care of. I remember meeting one of his nurses after he passed. She told me that he sang to all of them every day when they would come into his room. He was always happy and funny and smiling, and he even let me shoot a bb gun when my mom wouldn’t let me! (He also told me to quit crying when Uncle Chuck hit me with a “buck eyeball” that was in the lawn. He told me to pick one up and throw it back at him! I guess that thought hadn’t occured to me…)

Perspective is a funny thing. At one moment everything can be soooooo hard, and another moment, they can be okay. Mounting circumstances can be overwhelming at times, but you take it a step at a time, and you can get through it.

I found this video from the tour. I’m singing a song to a group from an adults with disabilities group. The problems that many of them have had to go through are so much worse than anything I’ve faced. I guess it’s good to have a little perspective sometimes. Life is going to be good. I hope you all enjoy!

I’m Upset and I Don’t Know Why.

I’m upset. I don’t know why. I don’t know where it started. I can’t put my finger on it. What I can do is know that right now I need to breathe, and I’m forgetting how to. Why do I get this way? What makes my brain go from, “Man, I’m having a great day.” to “I’m ungrateful and no one can make me happy.” I even got mad over the phone to one of my good friends. I don’t want to be ugly to people, but sometimes, it happens.

One of the quotes I heard was by Yoda. “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Well said, little green man.

So lets figure this out.

• I was upset because of my weight this morning. So I worked out. Didn’t really help, because I couldn’t do as many reps as I wanted… But I finished the workout. But the aggravation lingered.
• I was upset because I tried to get my e-mail to work, and it wasn’t. So I scheduled a meeting with my buddy who helps with IT problems. I was late to a meeting because of it, but it will be fixed tomorrow. The annoyance lingered.
• My friend came to me with an opportunity that could be really cool, but it would be a ton of work, and possibly career altering… but the immediate pressures I put on myself to make it great took all of the fun that it could be out of the equation. Not aggravated by it, or annoyed, just feeling pensive.
• Someone posted a snarky comment on my facebook. That bugged me, but I shook it off. That stuff is starting to not bother me as much, but people are just stupid and rude sometimes.
• My ex-girlfriend (Or whatever she would call herself…) decided to leave a comment on my best friend’s status. She still affects me. I haven’t talked to her in over a year and some, and it still gets to me. That just hurt. I avoid her as much as possible, but there’s not escaping it sometimes.
• In the back of my head, someone who is very dear to me has become absent. I don’t stop thinking about her much. It’s not my fault, but I don’t think there is a world in where she and I could both be happy together. Something has to give, and neither one of us ever will. :-/ I guess that hurts too.

Lastly, I find that I get really frustrated when other people try to help me with my problems. When I have a problem, I play it over and over again in my head. I examine every angle. I read and reread and over think it until it’s dissected into little pieces and they’ve all been carefully examined. When another person butts in to try to help it just frustrates me, because I have to re-explain the situation again for what may have been the 40th time. (maybe more.) Then, I snap at them…. and that’s not fair.

So what do I do? Well… I guess I try to get to the root of the problem. Where does all of it come from? They must all be branches from the same stem, right?

I guess that’s something I’ll have to talk to a therapist about when I can afford one. Maybe I’ll go read my blogs and figure it out. I got a great text from my friend who let me know that she feels that way too. Sometimes that’s the key. Just knowing you’re not the only one going through problems. Right after that, I got a phone call from my buddy B. Willing. He said, “What’s up?” I said “I have a fear of rejection… I’m gonna work on it…” He laughed pretty incredibly hard. When I asked why he was asking, he just said, “That’s just kinda the best thing I’ve heard.” I guess the way I said it was so stately. Ah well. I am going to. Or I’m gonna die trying.

I need to go and apologize to a few people I may have snapped at. I hope you have a good day, you beautiful, beautiful person.

-j

Me Versus Myself.

I think last night’s blog post really woke me up. I caught myself being super negative, and I really need to fix that, it’s becoming too hard to get things done, stay motivated, and fight my attitude. I think the problem is that I set these high and lofty goals for myself, and then when I don’t have a chance to reach them, I decide to get upset, rather than figure out a way to get closer to my goals. I think it’s time to really focus on me, and maybe take a break from being so hard on myself. Here are my goals for the rest of the year, and I’ll take any help you can offer to achieve these.

1. A Strong Release of My New Album. 
- The album is basically done, I just have to have it mastered, finish the album cover/insides, and then start promoting, distributing, and selling it. I was pretty stoked on people’s responses to hearing it at the show on Saturday. (If you didn’t notice, it was playing before/after the show.) Over the next few months, every moment of free time that I have will be poured into putting this album into every hand of every person I meet.

2. Lose 40 Pounds. 
- This one is a lot tougher… I have had a hard time with my weight ever since my knee injury in college. That makes it hard to run now. I have to ice it regularly, and even doing sports is tough. I graduated in high school at 110 pounds, so I went from one extreme to the other- ultra skinny to hefty. I need to figure out a way to lose weight, and keep it off. What I don’t need is a bunch of dumb little remarks or quirky sayings. I can’t afford the food that most people eat for losing weight, and hiring a trainer/paying for gym membership is out of the question until I’m making more money. So basically, I need to lose weight as cheaply as possible… and without a ton of nagging…

3. Find a Day Job That I Can Enjoy, While Still Pursuing Music or Make More Money Doing Music
- Unfortunately, money isn’t paying all the bills anymore. I need to find a job to help pay with some of the bills that are piling up. For a while, I was able to pay off everything, but recently, a few extra bills came in… (including the album costing more than I had expected.) It’s difficult finding a job that allows someone to tour or play gigs regularly. If I can’t travel, or take a few weeks off at a time, I don’t think I could do the job. (That’s why I had to leave Starbucks. I took too much time off.) I’m hoping I can find something soon.

4. Find a way to be happier/Think more positively. 
- This one is probably the hardest. After a full 20something years of pushing myself hard and getting things from hard work and self-sacrifice, I think I need to find a better way of motivating myself and getting things done. It’d be nice to just be nicer to me…. that’s for sure.

Well that’s all I have today. I guess that’s just where I feel like I am right now. Feel free to disagree with me, tell me I’m gorgeous, makeout with me… whatev…

-j

Day 11 -#BrokeAssTour

Sorry this has taken a bit to write. Today’s been busy with it’s own adventures and this cold is kicking my butt…

Drove all night till I got to San Diego. (took a long nap in Santa Barbara and then picked up a hitchhiker!) Got back to my place in San Diego long enough to finish the last bit of antibiotics for my throat, and took off to sound check.

The show in San Diego was fantastic, but I sat backstage most of the night trying to put color in my face. Apparently I can turn an even ghostlier white than I usually am. Chris Wilson and his band played a riot of a set, and I hobbled up on stage like a dying old man.

I’ll say this, I put everything I had left on the stage, and then I went back and collapsed. I think I spread myself out too thin this time, and with mounting outside pressures, I’ve found myself pretty run down. Maybe I’m too old, maybe I don’t eat well enough, maybe I don’t sleep enough, maybe I’m just pushing too hard, but something needs to change.

I don’t know what it is but a half hour before sound check, I found myself deep in the midst of a panic attack. It felt like I had let everyone down. That this tour was a ridiculous waste of time. That I was trying to force something I colluding afford, be someone I couldn’t really be, do something that was beyond what I’m capable. Then it was my turn to play.

During the first song, I did a “I’ll Be” cover. It was almost laughable how incredibly rude people were. I can’t remember the last time that I saw so many people loudly walk out of a venue. Maybe they are used to loud bars or maybe I was being a little too trusting of a new audience, but when everyone finished settling, I was about 3 songs in, and faking a smile he best I could. I think sometimes that’s all one can do. Just smile and wait for things to get better.

Nah. I don’t wanna be negative. No more thinking like that. Truth is I felt good on stage. Today I’m not feeling well, and I’m having trouble sleeping, but tomorrow I’m going to wake up and fight again. I think this tour was about fighting. Fighting my demons, fighting my fears, pushing my limits, and now, I’m figuring out what’s next. Maybe I’ve steered this ship as far as I can, and I need someone else to come take it over, but tonight, I’m thankful that I have a home, a warm bed, and a full stomach. I might be sick and achy, but I’m doing the best I can, and I’m going to sleep well knowing that.

Goodnight everyone and goodnight #brokeasstour.

-j

Day 10 – #brokeasstour

I woke up at 6 o’clock in the morning to the sound of incredibly loud thunder. I went downstairs take some medicine the grandfather was there, eating cereal. I mumbled something, but it hurt to speak. I grabbed my antibiotics and went back to bed.

Then I had this weird dream that I had broken up a marriage, and the husband and oldest son of the girl were being super aggressive and shoving me around town. Every time I tried to get them to back off they just kept saying mean and evil things to me… But most of them were secrets and thoughts that no one else could have possibly known. Every time I tried to punch them, it would be a weak hit and they’d laugh harder and louder and would tell me more and more personal things.

I woke up in a guilt ridden state, after all I had just been confronted with every bad thing i’d done. It’s difficult to wake up in tears and realize its just a dream, sometimes.

I took a shower and went downstairs, asked grandma if she wanted to go to breakfast. Mom and Tice met us there. It’s always nice to have my favorite people around.

We went home and I watched a cool western tv show for a bit, then I went back to my room and slept for a few more hours… I’ll probably do a lot of that for the next few days. That dream was weird too, but I can’t remember what it was about.

I ran a few errands, deposited checks, and mailed out some CDs to people who donated… Then I picked up Tice, and went back to grandma’s house. We hung out for little bit and then it was time to drive to San Francisco.

The show tonight was fantastic. I really like going to brainwash. it’s not the most amazing venue, but it is kind of fun spot. Enslaver chips, and people don’t really listen that much, but it is a good spot in San Francisco for acoustic artists.

I was joined by Whitney Nicole and Aaron Blythe- Two fantastic singer-songwriters from the San Francisco area who give everything they got on stage. Aaron and I played a few open mics together in SD back in the day, and that dude is a good guy. I’m really still that we reconnected.

My set seemed to start and end quickly. It’s always different playing when you have relatives in the audience because the stories feel like they need to be edited, not because I don’t want them to know about my life, but just cause I want them to be proud of me.

Tess Dunn jumped on stage to sing “something’s telling me” with me. She killed it. I’d fight for that girl. Next guy that breaks her heart is gonna deal with me…

Finished the set, sold a few cd’s and now I’m off to San Diego. I can’t wait to get home!!!

See you tomorrow night at LeStats for the tour finale!!!
-j