One of the things that I’ve found that makes me keep pushing in music is that most of my heroes had to fight. Not everyone is able to start music and become an “Elvis”, where they basically walk into a studio, nonchalantly record something as a gift for their mother, and become an overnight sensation. Most of the artists I look up to have hurdles and a tough road behind the stardom.
This movie took a story that I read a few months back and really hammered it home. John Lennon had it tough growing up. While his family loved him, they simply had too many personal issues to be able to care for him. I can kind of relate to that…
As many people know my birth name is Joshua David Lodge. My mom and dad had me when they were about 19 years old and missed out on a lot of college experiences when they decided to keep me. They were kicked out of the “Christian” college they were attending, (Which I also went to in San Diego) because that sort of behavior “disqualifies” people from getting a Christian education. (I guess this is a tangent or rabbit trail…. Don’t get me wrong, breaking rules has consequences… But why do “Christians” shoot their wounded… Try love???) My mother moved to Maine and they were married for a little more than 3 years before they divorced. My mom remarried a few years later to Mike Damigo (the man who I call “Father”) and asked my birth father to give me up for adoption so that I could have a “normal” family setting.
I’m 27 now, and looking back on things, and staring at other people’s lives, I think that there’s really not much we can call “normal”. Changing a person’s name or identity doesn’t change their story or who they really are. (And let’s be honest… Josh Lodge is a lot easier to spell than Josh Damigo…:-P) But as I write my name on these bootlegged CD’s I make, (cause it’s too expensive to reprint “raw”… Sigh…) I can’t help but wonder what my story would be like if it was made into a movie. Obviously things would be romanticized a bit, and I wasn’t a musical prodigy like John was… (I always enjoyed music, but it wasn’t until I couldn’t play sports anymore that I seriously chased after it.) I didn’t really start performing till I was 22, and now I’m 5 years later and writing almost every day, listening and discovering music and stories of music that most people never hear or take for granted, and living gig to gig trying to make rent! But is that such a far cry from packing up Jon’s things and moving to Germany to play gigs with a band?
This isn’t anywhere near where I thought my life would head 5 years ago, and it isn’t anywhere I hope to be in 5 years from now, but what watching “Nowhere Boy” made me realize is this is exactly where I’m supposed to be at this point in “my” story.
So I’m burning CD’s, fighting off some lingering cold gunk, trying to figure out what to do, and who I am, and it hits me that I am absolutely grateful that I get the chance to actually do this. 😛 How many people get to stop life, try to figure out who they are, and get paid (sometimes) to write songs about the process and tell their stories?
In a few hours, I’ll be playing a show, getting on a train to San Diego, and then figuring out my next move. I have an idea of where I’ll sleep tonight, but that might change too… Now, in 20 minutes, my mood may change, and I may wonder why I’m doing music again… But I hope I can read this post and remember where I am right now, at the second, Because at this moment, I am Josh Damigo, formerly Josh Lodge, who’s first memories are of Maine, but was raised in San Jose. Fell in love in Norcal, and lost her in Florida, then played college soccer in San Diego, and decided to stay and call it “home”. Got injured, and learned a new hobby called “songwriting”, then Observed other artists do it at open mics, and practiced to be able to mimic what they did, booked a few shows, wrote some better songs, turned some heads, made some friends and told them to “Suck my balls” when I accepted an award they gave me. (Haha!!! Wtf???) 😛 Then I moved to LA to follow a girl I barely knew, and realized this was where I needed to be to keep following my dreams, and now I’m broke, sickly, and moody, but content and looking for the next step.
I hope your life/story is as good as mine. And whether your next thing is recording a new album, moving to Hamburg with your band The Beatles, or simply trying to hitch a ride to the train station, I hope that you do it with as much passion, hope, and determination as you can muster.