I’m a hundred and fifty miles outside of Vegas, and about 30 minutes ago, I was almost in tears. A combination of traffic, bills, stress, and lack of sleep are probably the co-conspirators in this calamity. It’s funny how depressing feelings can sneak up on you. (Well… Not really “funny” but you know what I mean…)
Mom called to talk about my car. I’m about a year away from paying it off, but money is one of those things that drifts in and out of my life like a tidepool. While I can kinda tell when it’s coming, I’m never really sure. I always stress out when she and I talk about finances. It’s probably cause I don’t want her to have to worry about me, and at 27, she shouldn’t have to inform me about bills.
So the traffic was terrible, but I was excited to face it, because tonight, I’m playing the first of a half dozen house shows that were purchased through my kickstarter. Tonight’s show is for Joanne who actually drove this same drive to SD for my show last week at Lestat’s. (She may have been in town for something else, but I’m gonna argue that I was the highlight of her trip… :-P) Somewhere in the traffic, I just felt like crying. It happens. I’m not being emo, just being real… That’s when this song came on.
“Smile, though your heart is aching, Smile, even though it’s breaking, when there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by. If you smile through your pain and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow, You’ll see the son come shining through, for you…” – From Charlie Chaplin’s song “Smile”.
There’s something about this song that just kinda makes me tear up every time I hear it. I posted a version of this song on my facebook, being sung by Steven Tyler of Aerosmith that my roommate, Jeff, showed me last week. (I hope this link works —-> http://m.youtube.com/watch?desktop_uri=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZ-jXxHIWlTM&v=Z-jXxHIWlTM&gl=US ) It doesn’t matter who sings it, it gets me hard. Charlie Chaplin was a genius. I’d love to write a single line as good as he did.
Suddenly, my tears popped out and all I could do was be happy. I guess sometimes you just need to let it out. I feel so much better and I’m so excited for what the night has in store.
I guess that’s all I have for now. A phrase popped into my head that said, “I hope your day is as beautiful as you are.” Maybe inspiration for a song? We’ll see. 😀